Ever since THQ closed its doors in early 2013, many of the franchises we know and love have been sold off to other publishers. Volition and Saints Row joined the gang at Deep Silver. South Park rochambeau’d to Ubisoft. They sold off Big Huge Games to 38 Studios which obviously was the catalyst that “destroyed” RI. While you can still visit THQ.com, there’s really no point anymore. You can find what you need elsewhere, and a lot easier.
Gamers near and far were stung hard from the deathblow that had been struck on THQ, and one major question still remains on just about everyone’s mind: WHERE THE HELL IS TAK AND HIS BAND OF RASCALS NOW?!?!
Now, I know what you’re thinking, and I’m going to stop you right there. Yes, I know that Tak lived a long and glorious life, spawning sequels and spin-offs, and even a TV series at Nickelodeon that lasted 26 episodes over 1 season. I KNOW THIS. Even so, you can’t tell me that you don’t miss the bastard with a straight face. Go ahead. TRY IT.
As of this writing, I can’t find any concrete evidence that Tak has officially been killed off. I can’t even find where he and his tribe have wandered off to when their previous home was destroyed (RIP THQ LOL NASA NAACP NBA MLB NFL NHL). Nickelodeon doesn’t even seem to know who Tak is, and I think that’s a damn shame. I don’t know how Tak became such an outlaw, someone no one wants to acknowledge, but it seems he’s now this generation’s Valentina Tershkova. A damn, damn shame.
Since it doesn’t seem like we’ll be getting a new entry in this absolutely beloved series, I ask anyone who is willing to listen: shake the proper bushes, ruffle the correct feathers, knock on every door you can – we need at least a remaster of this classic. Tak and the Power of Juju can NOT be lost for future generations. It just CAN’T. Hell, why not get the whole band involved? Add in Tak 2: The Staff of Dreams. Shoot… Why not add the 3rd title Tak: The Great Juju Challenge? Guess what? You add those, you need to add Tak and the Guardians of Gross in the collection (Wii version, please, of course, that was the best one). Oh, but if you do that, you HAVE to add in Tak: Mojo Mistake from the Nintendo DS. Oh, but, now we’d need all the Game Boy Advance ports added into this collection of remasters, then. Screw it. Toss in the entire series of the animated series. I know all of this seems like a lot to ask for, and it would likely be a lot of work, but do you honestly think it’s not worth the $8.73 asking price per unit sold? In today’s market, you can’t afford NOT to jump on this…
We deserve it. Please, publishers, I’m begging you. GET THIS MAJOR FRANCHISE BACK IN OUR HANDS AND IN THIS NEW GENERATION’S PHYSICAL AND DIGITAL LIBRARIES. We deserve it. You deserve it. Most of all, Tak deserves it. And you’d be making one young man by the name of Matthew Powers very happy.
I was going to add more pictures for everyone to enjoy, but looking over them all, I just got too sad, so I had to shut it down. Tak bless you, and Tak bless America.
This may or may not be a joke. The world may never know. The world may never want to…